Street3

Since I began playing poker way back in the late2007’s, I thought there weren’t any bad times to play poker, barring weddings and funerals.  But this Thanksgiving week/weekend, proved me wrong!  I was never home long enough to play as I had thanksgiving at my parents and at Kelly’s house.  And then as soon as family leaves, I get the shits and thrown ups, medically known as a stomach virus.  It was not pretty; I missed the Twitter Poker Tour because of family and missed playing poker because of the horridness that found every way to exit my body as humanly possible.  I tried to login and play some online poker on Full Tilt, but just wasn’t in the mindset to play.   

One good thing about being sick and bed ridden is that I can still browse the internet’s looking to learn something more about holdem and I found a great place to learn the rules, over at Full Tilt, along with the series of blogs, I found Poker from the Rail, I was able to entertain myself while sitting on the throne and puking into a bucket!  Good times!  The good news is that I feel 100% better today and if I can turn my $2.12 of poker funds into $6, I will be playing with Geoff and Paul and the rest of the TPTpoker gang in the Twitter Poker Tour, which plays every Thursday at 9 PM EST on Full Tilt Poker!  Join Geoff and Paul on the twitter poker show this week are Jason Mercier and maybe Randal Flowers.  The reason I say maybe Randal Flowers is because after the TPT tweeted that he and Jason were joining the show, @RandALLin replied, “I am? Lol” So, you’ll have join them live at http://twitterpokertour.com/live to see who shows up!  See you all on the virtual felt.  Peace.

Going into last night’s Twitter Poker Tour, I was somewhere around 31^st on the leader board, mainly due to my horrendous 50^th place finish last week, as the week before I finished in a somewhat (insert donkey sound) respectable 22^nd.  So I told myself to play better, tighten up my opening range, which usually hovers around almost anything depending on my mood and stop getting in good and getting sucked out!   I picked up Aces FOUR times, unfortunately, twice was in the BB and everyone folded around, once I opened up to 4x and only got the BB to call, then check/fold the flop and the fourth time, I was in middle position, and kbinferno opened up 3x and FTP decides to lock up on me and force a time out.  I got wilted down and shoved 77 into JJ, lucky for me a 7 fell on the river to more than double me up and I was sitting pretty, around 7^th of 35 remaining (I believe 93 started).  After that, nothing good happened, I remember a few times being forced out of pots with nothing.  Eventually, near the money bubble, I was dealt JJ.  Scott Diamond, aka, DeputySD, aka chiwawa, opened up a standard raise, Val Zlasdjkflasjkdflakfowekasldagaldk (pardon that his last name is too hard to spell),aka, Blizge, smooth called and I jam my remaining chips, to my delight, both Scott and Val called, I was looking at a triple up! The flop came T high, two hearts, Scott shoved and Val insta called.  My heart sank.  I knew I was beat. And man was I ever beat, Scott held TT for a flopped set and Val held QQ .   Both players had me, I was looking to spike one of the last two Jacks, but fortunes were not on my side and Scott’s set held and eliminated me in 22^nd.  Money was at 19.  Oh well. I really enjoyed playing and listening to the broadcast as Paul and Geoff interviewed November 9’er Matt Jarvis and was later joined by Bluff Magazines senior editor, Jess Welman and the man who takes pretty pictures and knows a lot about the happenings in the world of poker, B.J. Nemeth.   Lifelong TPTer Tracy Snell would end up shipping the event, thus securing himself a leader board top spot and a ticket into the 750K Guarantee on Full Tilt Poker this Sunday (or any Sunday he wants to play).  Thanks again for a great show and event guys.  And remember; if you play online poker, please come join us every Thursday night at 9 PM EST! See you next week!

The 2010 WSOP is on the verge of completion, just one table left and 9 players fighting it out for a 1^st place prize of over $8.9 million and the title of Main Event Champion.  Of the nine players left, an unprecedented SEVEN are Full Tilt Poker sponsored players.  Unfortunately, due to WSOP regulations regarding site affiliated logos, only four will be allowed to wear the Full Tilt logos during the televised final table.  Full Tilt has its hands full in selecting which four of the seven to wear the logos.  Obviously, Michael Mizrachi will be one, but who else?   Well let’s look at seat position and chip counts:

                Seat 2:  Joseph Cheong (23,525,000)

                Seat 3:  John Dolan (46,250,000)

                Seat 5:  Michael Mizrachi (14,450,000)

                Seat 6:   Matt Jarvis (16,700,000)

                Seat 7:  John Racener (19,050,000)

                Seat 8:  Filippo Candio (16,400,000)

                Seat 9:  Soi Nguyen (9,650,000)

I would guess that Full Tilt would want maximum exposure; therefore putting logos on who they feel has the best shot of winning, and then who would last longest.  Based on the chip counts, I would say, in addition to the Grinder, logos will be put on John Dolan, Joseph Cheong and most likely John Racener.  Although short stacked, Soi Nguyen, an amateur, could be one wearing FTP logos because most of the viewing audience can relate more to him.   For more in depth articles and analysis, check out Full Tilt Poker’s WSOP 2010 Final Table Coverage.   Leave a comment and let me know who you think will wear the logos and what you think of the WSOP’s rule only allowing a maximum of 4 players representing the same site at each featured table.

Can you believe another Thursday is here and that means its Twitter Poker Tour time!  And for the second week in a row, a $216 ticket to the $750,000 Guarantee is up for grabs!  Last week there were over 80 participants, almost double the normal weekly game.  We hope to eclipse this mark and continue growing the TPT each and every week.  Don’t forget that Paul and Geoff will also be on Ustream with guests ESPN’s Andrew Feldman and Gary Wise.  They will talk about the goings on in the world of poker as well as the TPT’s new partnership with DeepStacks University.  If you play online poker and haven’t played in the TPT, today is your chance.  The game is always the same, a No-Limit Holdem $6 buy-in, 3000 chip starting stack and a felt full of donkies, wannabes and casual players!  Just hop on FTP, search for “Street 3” and use the password “tptpoker”.  

If you do play, join us in the new “wife…k” chat game!  It’s a simple game that can be played by seated players as well as observers.  It’s easy to play, all you have to do is type in the chat box any sentence that contains the phrase “wife..k”, if done correctly one will immediately summon the ever elusive MODERATOR which will bestow upon thee a Warning or Ban.  Those lucky (or unlucky) enough to summon the Moderator many times will have their chat suspended for varying minutes dependent upon the number of infractions.  For me personally, I have summoned the Moderator so many times I am currently on 30 minute*  1 hour chat bans!   So join us, this week and every week for great game of poker and give my regards to your wife…k!

*Post updated to reflect 1 hour ban after losing AK to AK all in preflop when villian four flushed me out in 13th of 90…paid 9

The Twitter Poker Tour, or #TPTPoker, is quickly approaching it’s two year anniversary.  The first game, played on Full Tilt Poker on October 30^th, 2008, was the beginning of a weekly game between amateur players who found each other on twitter.  The game has grown from just a few friends, to many different players, including some pros, sponsorship deals with Dueces Cracked, Bluff Magazine, Full Tilt Poker and others along the way.  Prizes are awarded each week and to the top three finishers in a monthly leaderboard. Some ridiculous prizes have even been provided by Matt Waldron just by listening to the live show on Ustream.  That’s right, the #tptpoker is broadcast live each week by hosts Paul Ellis and Geoff Manning.  Weekly quests have included the likes of Andy Bloch, Mike “The Grinder” Mizrachi, Alex Outhread and many more. The TPT is open to anyone who wants to shell out $6 for a double stack, no-limit holdem tournament, a twitter is account is preferred, but no necessary.  Lots of ribbing and joking and shit talking along the way, but all in good fun!  The Twitter Poker Tour even sent a player to the 2010 WSOP.  Mike 4get 2 4bet Me won entry into Event $47, a $1,000 buy-in event.  He played extremely well, but ended shoving QQ into KK and finishing just short of the money.  As the TPT continues to grow, more players are likely to win seats into similar and bigger events in future WSOP’s.  If you don’t already play, sign up is easy, just visit http://twitterpokertour.com, download Full Tilt Poker here, http://www.fulltiltpoker.com, create an account and join us every Thursday night at 9 PM EST for the best online poker league around and be sure to listen and chat while you play!

A little over two years ago i joined twitter at the encouragement of my friend and co-worker @thenardier.   I started to gain followers by searching for my main interest:  bitches and hoes….just kidding….sort of.  I was actually searching for poker players and a few of my first were @cprpoker and @pokerplasm.  These two guys were the brain children behind the Twitter Poker Tour : http://twitterpokertour.com/.  A weekly game was set up to alternate between Full Tilt Poker and PokerStars and actually kicked off on my birthday, October 30th, 2008.  Eventually, the games would be solely played on FTP and each week more and more players signed up to play.  I play almost every week, unless i am out getting dqunk.  Today, the Twitter Poker Tour usually gets 40-50 players and Geoff, with the help of Paul Ellis, @coolwhipflea, have set up a live broadcast of the event.  This broadcast can be found on Ustream, here:  http://www.ustream.tv/channel/twitter-poker-tour.  Each week, leaderboard points are accumlated and the top 3 of each month are awarded prizes, ranging from poker training site subscriptions to t-shirts and magazine subscriptions.  The players in these game range from pretty good to downright horrible (me).   But the beautiful thing about it, is that you can learn from them and they are more than willing to help you with your game.  I have gained some lifelong friends through the TPT and hope to gain many more.  It’s a weekly home game in an online world.  I will forever be a TPTer.

 

Kelly and I thought it would be a good idea to give reviews of the movies we see together.  The first movie we ever saw together was Shutter Island, a movie Kelly insistedI take her to.  She will deny this and in fact, will tell you that i chose this movie, but that’s not the way i remember it.   Anyhow, the following is our review of the movie.  My review is fist, followed by hers.  Enjoy, remember these reviews will contain spoiler alerts, but should be marked as such before presented.

Steve’s Review: 

 This movie sucks balls.  The only thing that would make watching this movie worse would be watching by yourself.  I’d recommend this movie to those I despise and want to harm without physically touching them.  What makes this movie so undesirable is that about 25 minutes in even the drooling special kid with the helmet knew that Leonardo DiCaprio was a patient on the funny farm.  **THE PREVIOUS SENTANCE WAS A SPOILER**

 I would lay down any amount of money that two armless guys with dull pencils and no erasers could write a better script using only black paper in room void of light in under two hours.  What freakin crackhead green lighted this horrid adaptation of a *snicker snicker* best selling novel by  Dennis Lehane?  That’s right, Dennis FLIPPIN Lehane!  Okay, so you’ve never heard of him either.   Well legendary director Martin Scorsese did an excellent job of most likely not reading the book and instead just filmed Leo and some other fucktards bumbling around an island, drooling like mad cows.   No hot chicks, no boobs, no real violence, a horrid Boston accent and an Asylum that looked so real you wonder how many 3rd graders it took to construct it, all adds up to a rating of NEGATVIE ONE BILLION on a scale of 1-10. 

Kelly’s Review:

It’s bad.  Really.

This is the 2nd installment of my FTP Avatar Analysis.  If you missed the 1st installment, you can read it here:   http://www.street3.me/2010/03/what-your-ftp-avatar-says-about-you/

This section will focus on inanimate object avatars and other non human avatars.  Enjoy.

This avatar is perplexing.  What kind of playing style does a plant represent?  Who would choose a plant?  Are they agressive? Donkish?  Who the fuck knows.  I do not know anyone, other than maybe fans of   Little Shop of Horros, who likes plants enough.  IMO, worthless and no way any serious mother fucker chooses this dirty plant.

AGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WTF is this thing?  Swamp things lil’ squirt?  Oh lord.  Only a true donk would choose this fugly thing.  Looks like what you wake up to after a night of shrooms, beer and poorly priced hookers.

This player is either one of those goth vampire tards or a european.  Either way, they will suck out on you just as the fictional character they identify themselves with.  Can be easily tilted by suggesting in chat that the vampires of the Twilight saga are the more actual depiction of what a true “vampire” is.  Or, if that fails, start bashing True Blood, the HBO series all “vamp” fans just love!

Good ole Frankenberry.  The dumbest of all “monsters” and in most cases, the player behind this avatar is just as dumb.  There is nothing menacing about this avatar, in fact, just the opposite.  This avatar represents newness to the game and is probably used by some 8 year old kid donkin his way to the money by stacking your ass with 93o.  Be careful, but always bet the nuts, don’t slow play, you’ll get paid off.

Another in FTP’s series of horrible halloween avatars.  I don’t know what to say about this ugly piece of shit, but it’s not intimidating, it’s not scary, it’s just an ugly green piece of toilet paper wrapped shit.

Just another in the series of horrible FTP avatars, i actually  think this is the guy that sells Gremlins to stupid fucking americans.  If that’s the case, then the player behind Fu Man Chin Choo may also be a crafty asian waiting to trap you.

Again, no reason this avatar should even be an option.  This avatar should serve as a reminder of what happens when you combine Meth, trailer parks and skank hoes.   This is a common “disconnect” avatar as the player is usually on AOL Dial-up from his trailer while his meth-mouthed “girlfriend” is mixing 3parts battery acid, 1 part drain-o and 2 parts kerosene without blowing up there “mobile” home, thus achieving a permanent “disconnect” from this world.

I don’t know if FTP allows plaers to select this avatar or if it’s automatically assigned once you made a number of deposits.  This player is either a literal money machine or been called one so much he just decided to represent.  On the other hand, the ATM could represent the player is always cashing  out your money.  Be wary of this bucket of bolts.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr matey!  It’s Johnny Depp, i mean, Bubba the Butt Pirate!  Shiver me fucking timbers this avatar screams gayness.  Well that or players that have fantasies of months alone on a boat with guys that have not showered or brushed their remaining tooth since, well, probably ever.   Pirates were just rapist on boats and today’s pirates, with their autmatic machine guns, would destroy the peg legged, parrot pedophiles of the early centuaries.  That being said, the players using this avatar are probably watching Goonies or fapin’ to Fabio to even worry about.

This avatar is represent by 3 different player types:  First, the player that hails from Boston, i.e,  @cpropker Secondly, a player under 5″2″, i.e, @pokernations.  Finally, a player that can be known to 3bet with J3o, be called and hit miracle J33 flops against players holding KK or better, i.e, @widmayer.   So these avatars should be approached with caution, because what it boils down to is these guys have slept with so many Irish dudes that they reek of the  “luck of the irish”.  Keepin in mind, most players hail from Boston, they can be tilted in any season.  If baseball season, talk up the Yankees and mention Buckner’s Blunder.  Football season, talk about Ballerina Brady and how since he tried to go straight with that model, his football game has suffered.  Or during basketball season, throw out the Laker and Kobe.  Or just mention that Larry Bird was just an AVERAGE player and would have never even started had he been black.  The great white hope was just another white boy in a black man’s game.

Poker players that play on Full Tilt poker have the option of choosing which avatar they want to represent them at the table.  They offer a wide selection from male/female characters to animals to objects.   Can the avatar you choose hinder or help your online play? Do other players pre judge your ability based on your avatar? I don’t think most do, although sometimes i get hit on when i choose a female avatar.  Anyway, i thought it would be a good idea to give you what i believe your avatar says about you.  Because FTP has over 70 avatars to choose from, this post will be done in multiple parts.   Look for the avatar you use and see if my analysis is correct

 ANIMAL AVATARS – PART 1

  This avatar represent ruthless agression.  Mostly used by younger males and those with a passion for the hippity-hoppity music, they can be seen at all levels of a tournament.  But, don’t be fooled by the “angry” dog, as this usally represents weakness.

 

 Players choosing this guppy are timid and extremely nitty.  Just as guppies have s short life span, the girly guys that choose this avatar are not likely to hang around till the money.  Get their chips while you can!

 

 Most recognizable as the avatar of FTP Luckbox Pro Tom “Durrr” Dwan.  Players choosing this floating head are most likely Durrr fanboys and will be uber spewey playing shit cards like their idol.  But, unlike their idol they have no pact with the devil, therefore will not hit the miracle 1 outer over 85% of the time.  Call their bets and you’ll be stacking their chips.

 

 A perplexing avatar choice as players of all skill levels have represented themselves with Fluffy.  Fluffy looks so innocent, but can be extremely aggressive.  Always approach pots with caution when facing these little white turds. 

 

The most feared and intimidating creature in the ocean is the shark.  A bad ass predator that preys on the weak and owns his opponents.  Players representing this bad ass mother fucker should be feared and respected.  HAHA Just kidding, while “sharks” are generally well respected and feared opponents, nobody calls themselves that so why would they choose this as their avatar?  Because they “think” they are good, but they are not.  Middle pair, weak kicker is generally good against them.  Let them bet in to you and try to bluff you on the river. But be prepared for a slew insults to come your way from the rail as they cry about your play.

 

Not a very popular choice by players, this avatar screams ADD and lack of focus.  Not likely to make it to the first break, these players can be tilted by using as much of the clock as possible when it’s your turn.  They will grow angry and start filling the chat box with “ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ”  to indicate they are falling asleep waiting on you to act.    

 

 I really don’t know why anyone would want to represent themselves as a fucking frog.  What’s it say about your game? Nothing i can think of.   These players are most likely challenged in some way. 

 

 Another avatar not commonly seen.  Most likely because, like it’s real life counterpart, the cat is worthless, ugly and just plain stupid.  Players reprsenting this avatar are generally French and therefore sloppy and bluff crazy.  

 

ANIMAL AVATARS – PART 2

 

Ah the donkey.  The most hated and loved player in the game.  Players choosing this avatar have been called a donkey so many times, they cant help but represent themselves that way.   When you have the nuts these players will pay you off, when you try to bluff, these players will stack you.  Be especially cautious of the “confused” donkey as this player probably can’t even spell poker.

 

Another avatar rarely seen at the tables.  Nobody likes elephants, they’re big, dumb and that trunk is weird.  So what type of player chooses this? Probably some zoo keeper sitting in a cage full of elephant shit.  I have never seen an elephant at a final table and if you can’t defeat the elephant player, then you should go play on the freeway at night and always head toward the light.

  

The Gecko, commonly seen at the tables.  This avatar has the best expressions and makes me LOL.  The players using this lizard are competent enough to compete and most likely to dumb to fold.  They will make hero/donk calls and stack you.  These players can be tilted by suggesting the Caveman is a better mascot for car insurance.  This angers the gecko and immediately puts them on tilt.

 

Seriously? A fucking rooster? Who in their right mind even associates a rooster with poker? I know one player, GoofyRooster, who uses this avatar and honestly a rooster pecking at the keyboard has a better ROI than him.   If you see a rooster at your table, chances are the player behind the avatar is one chicken-methed-out douchecanoe.  A constant bluffer, can be easily tilted by calling him down and sucking out.   If you can, 3bet with AQ against this player, flop Q high and he’l pay you off with AK.  He can’t fold.

 

Take a close look at this avatar.  Is Timmy the Tard Turtle sitting in a pile of his own green shit? I believe he is, afterall he’s a fucking Tard Turtle.  An easy generalization can be made about the players using this avatar…..they are either Canadian or so old they will diapers and constantly shit themselves.  They min raise, fold to 3bets and can be pushed of quad K’s for fear you have quad A’s even if no Aces are on the board.  Stack their chips, but beware the stench of Tard Turtle shit.

 

 Ah the Asian PedoBear, not too common as most players represent this avatar are from Asia and are playing while you are sleeping.  So if you see this avatar, chances are the guy playing is on a 24 hour bender and most likely hallucinating.  I don’t know the bet approach to playing these obviously insane players, so approach wtih caution.  Can be easily tilted by mentioning “To Catch A Predator” in the chat box and telling them you are, in fact, Chris Hanson.  PedoBears fear this man.

 

 A penguin.  A nemisis of Batman.  The coolest evolutionary duck/goose hybrid ever concieved by the mad scientist Mother Nature.  Players using this avatar are cool, calculated and far to smart to be playing the donk levels most of us play.  That being said, their masterful 4bet and smooth flop calls are far too advanced to work, they will usually chip you up because you’re too dumb to fold top pair.  They’ll make sarcastic remarks like “lol nh” or “meh nice call” to which you’ll respond with “ty” truely believing they are complimenting you.  P.S. Im looking at you Swyyft. 

 

MORE AVATAR ANALYSIS COMING SOON